Rules for Blogging
or, How I Stopped Worrying and Learned to Love the Blog
Since childhood, I have had very high expectations for myself and others. Through middle school, I was the kid who would be disappointed by a 96 on a test. I was also an extremely active student, participating in countless extracurricular activities through my school, community, and church. I had tied my identity to my successes and accomplishments.
Social Trauma and Rejection Sensitivity
I also felt disconnected from many of my classmates. I was frequently told I was weird and was actively excluded by kids in my classes. Because of this bullying, I have severe social anxiety, and Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) is a common trait of neurodivergence, particularly ADHD. When I meet other people, talk to my friends, or interact with any service worker, I struggle not to think that everyone hates me all the time.
Unfortunately, to be successful (success being defined here as being able to support myself and my family financially), I knew I had to share my ideas and my writing with others. Just the possibility of being judged or ridiculed fills me with debilitating fear. In reality, what's most likely is that others will be apathetic, at worst. That freaks me out, too!
My Journey so Far
In 2019, I embarked on a journey to start blogging. I wanted to establish a stream of income that would provide a flexible schedule. I was working as an after-school program teacher with unconventional hours and wanted to continue in that position while pursuing my dreams of being a professional creative. I made a website, bought a domain, and researched niches, content, and SEO. I made a comprehensive posting schedule. I even started writing some posts! Two major things stopped me:
1. Fear of uncertainty
2. Need for perfection
Since then, I have tried to make
a Dungeons and Dragons blog
a knitting store and crafting blog
a non-profit subscription box
an Animal Crossing aesthetic Instagram
a lesson plan and educational resource store…
You name it, I probably tried it!!
No matter what I tried, I simply couldn't bring myself to take that crucial final step of actually doing the thing and then feeling at ease about sharing it with anyone
Each time, I overwhelmed myself with perfectionist expectations, strict schedules, and guidelines. I put up roadblock after roadblock for myself in an attempt to combat anxiety and cut out all risk.
What I've learned over the last five years is that the only way to avoid failure is... to do nothing.
Obviously, I don’t want to do that! I have one million ideas everyday that all excite me. Doing nothing is not an option. I cannot both avoid failure and be successful (as defined above), so I have to choose.
And I choose the doing.
But the conception is easy. It's the follow-through that I struggle with. With all my heart, I want to avoid a backslide into fear, so I am establishing some rules for my blog.
Sister Corita Kent’s 10 Rules
Sister Corita Kent was an American artist, advocate, and educator during the Pop Art movement. She was the head of the art department at Immaculate Heart College. In that role, she established 10 rules for her students:
These rules have become foundational in my creative and educational philosophy. They are be a great starting point for the rules I will apply when tackling content for this blog.
My 10 Rules of Blogging
Rule 1: Utilize your resources & tools.
I pay for a domain. I pay for Square Space to host this website. I pay for a Canva subscription. I pay student loan debt every month for a college degree and Master's level courses. Don't waste your money.
Rule 2: Trust yourself. Trust in what you have to give to your community.
Part of why I want to share my ideas is because I think... they're good ideas. Well, sometimes I think they're good ideas. Sometimes, I think I've never had a good idea in my life. I need to trust myself before my community can trust me.
Rule 3: Write what you want to read. Write what you have needed to read.
I am my first audience member. What I write should nourish me and impart new wisdom: guidance for my younger self, future self, and all that lies between. Writing is a chance to put something into the universe I wish I could have had earlier. As long as I keep that drive and spark alive, I will never fear sharing my ideas.
Rule 4: Consider everything an experiment
This rule is a wonderful reminder for anyone doing anything, especially when doing something new for the first time.
Rule 5: Lean on your community and support network to help you when needed.
Self-discipline is challenging as a neurodivergent adult. So, instead of relying solely on "self-discipline," I have built a support network around me that wants me to succeed. I don't want to be afraid to admit when I am struggling to overcome task paralysis, overcome self-doubt, or come up with my next steps, especially when I have help readily available.
Rule 6: Nothing is a mistake. There's no win and no fail. There's only make.
The only "fail" is the act of "not making."
Rule 7: The only rule is work. If you work, it will lead to something. It's the people who do all of the work all the time who eventually catch on to things.
I am keeping this rule, too, but not in a "hustle, grind-set" way. The only way to continue growing and improving is to practice it. The adage of "practice makes perfect" is on the right track (even though we know "perfection" is unattainable).
Rule 8: Do not try to create and anticipate criticism of your work at the same time. Doing so can lead to hopelessness and paralysis.
It's easy to think about the mean comments people could leave on a post while brainstorming topics, making outlines, or drafting any part of a post. I've been so afraid of imagined cruelty that I have gotten to the metaphorical starting line and walked away. All I needed to do was press the "publish" button, but I couldn't.
Rule 9: Be happy whenever you can manage it. Think about what could go RIGHT if you make something. It's lighter than you think.
Piggybacking off of Rule 8, it's easy to imagine some anonymous commenter typing out, "Wow, this sucks," or "It's clear you have no idea what you are doing." It's difficult to imagine an anonymous commenter typing, "This is such great advice," or "I love your content. I'm so excited to see what you do next!" Realistically, it's more likely that you'll connect with others and add a little value to someone else's life.
Rule 10: "If we wait until we're ready, we'll be waiting for the rest of our lives, let's go." - Lemony Snicket
I thought finishing up with a quote would be good, just like Sister Corita Kent did. I am diving into this project headfirst because I'd rather "fail" than not try, and we only have so much time on this earth.
Conclusion
✦
Conclusion ✦
In the commencement speech given at the University of the Arts in 2012*, the speaker shares with the graduates a few things they wishes they would have known when starting their writing career. I wanted to highlight this one sentence:
"A life in the arts is sometimes like putting messages in bottles on a desert island and hoping that someone will find one of your bottles and open it and read it and put something in a bottle that will wash its way back to you."
Here is my first message in a bottle. I hope it finds you.
*This speech was delivered by author Neil Gaiman. As of July 8, 2024, he is under investigation for sexual assault in New Zealand. I support the women who brought these accusations forward and want justice for their suffering. These accusations came out while writing this, but this quote had already connected with me, and I felt it honestly captured my fear and isolation in the process of creation. The quote is good; his alleged actions are deplorable.
